I’ll travel more when I’m thinner.

We all know that fat people shouldn’t have fun, right? That once your jean size hits the double digits or you have to reach to the back of the rack to see if they have your size you’re less deserving of pleasure?

Well, actually that’s not the case.

You only have to look at a photo of me to realise that I’m not the smallest person in the world, nor am I average. Yet, nor would I want to be. No matter how much I diet, I’ll never be “average size” – my legs are too long!

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When I was younger, there was a part of me that believed that shedding the pounds would fix some problem that I was sure to have. We’ve all been there. ‘I’ll wear dresses, when I’m thinner’; ‘I’ll start running, when I’m thinner’; ‘I’ll travel more, when I’m thinner.’ There is no magic size that makes wearing dresses, running or travelling a possibility, yet for so many women, like myself, we find our minds popping these little thoughts into our head. Sometimes the ‘I’ll wear dresses’ presents as motivation for ‘when I’m thinner’, but rarely does this ‘thinner’ – and therefore better – model of ourselves appear.

I’m not going to talk numbers because, more often than not, they mean nothing at all. What I will say is that by choosing not to wear dresses, start running, travel until we are ‘thinner’ we aren’t listening to ourselves and our own desires, we are listening to what other people tell us we should be doing. Once we allow ourselves to do this, we find ourselves trapped in a loop of enacting other people’s wants and needs without even knowing it.

I think that it’s really important to say that, outside of the field of medicine, losing weight will not solve all of your problems. It won’t change everything. Change comes from within. If you want to lose weight, you have to have the mindset to do it. If your weight is the way it is because you aren’t happy right now, change that first. Otherwise, expect to dig yourself a little deeper into a pit of depression first.

Being human is incredibly complicated, but let’s narrow it down: you only have to be you. You’re an expert at that!

There are some ways that travel may be inhibited if we are overweight, or (as I am) obese. I don’t occupy more than my fair share of an aeroplane seat, but I still feel self-conscious that I do. I want to walk for a million miles a day without tiring, but I know that three days of walking ten or more miles and I want a lie in! I can go there, see that, but I can’t always buy the t-shirt. So, I guess I’m not closing the door on losing weight, but I am closing the door on negativity.

When our final days come rolling in, remember:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

–Mark Twain

I’ll travel more when I’m thinner, that’s for sure. I’ll travel more if I get fatter too. You see, that’s what I want to do regardless of the number on the scale or the label in my jeans: I want to travel more, and no measure will stop me.

 

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